Rescued

"I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me.
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me...

I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine..."

All of us are in need of rescue at some point in our lives. Nobody is perfect. That is the whole point of the Atonement. In 2001, Thomas S. Monson gave a talk on rescue, which you can find here:

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=b0198d00422fe010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

I mention this because I recently received an email from a friend of Dayna's that touched my heart. With her permission (and name omitted) I will share it with you.

Sister Moore,

Thank you so much for your encouragement. I'm sorry I didn't reply right away, but I needed a few days to figure out how to say what was on my mind.

I guess most of my problems started after I left college. I moved around a lot and then settled in [another town]. I didn't know anyone, and the ward wasn't very hospitable, and it was hard to go to church every week when I felt totally unwanted. I started using work as an excuse to not go to church. I tried last year to start going to church again, and it simply didn't feel like I was doing it for the right reasons. I also had outside influences that were pretty persuasive in dragging me further away from the path.

I stopped caring much about myself and my well being. I felt worthless and hopeless, and acted accordingly. I stopped reading the scriptures. I went months on end without prayer. I nearly always felt alone, even when I was surrounded by people I loved.

Satan uses loneliness as a tool. He convinces us that we can remove loneliness with the companionship of the opposite gender during the time that we are most vulnerable and thus more susceptible to failure, something I know and can testify to firsthand.

I forgot the things that I had been taught and after a while I even stopped feeling guilt and remorse for the sins that at one time had been disgusting to me.

While the decisions I have made in my life may make it seem otherwise, I have not doubted the truthfulness of the Gospel, nor did I deny my testimony. I knew it was true in my heart. It made me a hypocrite, something I despise, so I stopped associating with LDS people because it showed me firsthand how off-skelter my own life had become. I didn't WANT to see their potential, their accomplishments and righteousness, because it would bear even stronger witness to my own failures.

I decided to take a risk and move [again], then take a risk and start working at a job that I knew wouldn't last long but would suffice until I could find something better. Ever had someone knock on your door asking if they could clean your carpet, after which they tried to sell you a vacuum that cost more than some cars? Yeah. That was my job. And it turned out to be a huge blessing.

While knocking doors one day, I met a young man [], fresh off his mission. His parents were righteous LDS parents, who adorned their homes with photos of the Temple and of Christ. I decided to ask if he was LDS, to which he excitedly declared that yes, he was!

We talked briefly about church and I admitted that I too, was LDS, but not active at all. After talking for a while, he asked for my number. When we started talking on the phone, he asked me to come to church with him, which I refused. I didn't feel ready, but decided on Saturday night that I would go. I changed my mind half a dozen times, but eventually, I was in a skirt heading nervously to a church building for the first time in nearly a year.

When I went to church this past Sunday, for the first time in years...literally, years...I felt like I was home. I had to drive over forty miles just to get to the church. I had forty miles to turn around and go back. But I went. And the joy that filled my heart when many of my hesitantly spoken prayers were answered during the three hour block cannot be expressed in words!!

I told the Lord that if I were REALLY supposed to be there at THAT specific meeting on THAT specific day, that it wasn't necessary but would be very nice if one of the talks was on repentance (I forgot that it was Fast Sunday). Obviously there were no talks, but I had other questions that had been pressing my mind answered during the sweet testimonies of my peers.

I astonished myself, and my friend [], by bearing my testimony. I barely remember walking up to the podium at all. But as the words came out, I realized that they were true and I felt the strongest feelings during that meeting. I felt so much peace! A few of the people before me had talked about the atonement, and so I decided that it was an answer to the prayer that I had said in the car....

Sunday school came next, where the new people in the ward met in a small room and we all made one another feel special and welcome. I started getting excited. This ward was so loving and wonderful.

THEN, Relief Society. After the opening song, introduction of the new people (myself included) and a few words by the [Relief Society] president, a beautiful sister got up to teach. From the Manual. Chapter Nineteen. The very first words she said, "What is sin? What does sin do to our lives?"

While sitting in the back next to people I barely knew but that had already extended the arm of loving Sisterhood, I literally broke down and sobbed. I had absolutely no right to ask, but He answered nonetheless. The Lord knew exactly what I needed, and He gave it to me. The Spirit in the room was so strong during the entire meeting and I doubt tears stopped flowing for a single minute of the entire lesson.

The Lord loves me so much, Sister Moore! It's so easy to forget it or to ignore it when you're in a smokey bar with your friends, or in the less than wholesome company of a guy. I did things I knew were wrong and that would entirely block out the promptings of the Spirit. I disregarded the counsel of the prophets and stopped looking at my Patriarchal blessing as the future and started seeing it as a fairy tale.

I know that I can be forgiven. I went to my new bishop, and with his help, in just weeks, not years, I will be able to take the Sacrament for the first time in nearly two years. I have much repenting to do, and it won't be easy to rid myself of a lot of the chains I have dragged myself so low with. But I know that I can do it, and my goal is that by Christmas, I will be worthy to attend the Temple and do Baptisms for the dead.

Thank you for your prayers, your encouragement and your love. I have felt the strength of so many people praying. I used to feel alone, and it didn't occur to me until recently that the solitude that I felt was something that I not only brought upon myself, but that I also had the power to control. My choices were pulling me away from other people, and from the companionship of the Spirit.

I am so excited at how easy that it has been to slip back into the warm comfort of the Church. I know that the path that I need to walk is straight, narrow, difficult and full of hardships, but I know that I can do it if I keep my hand in the Lord's.

Your sister in the Gospel,

And here is her testimony:

I know that the Lord loves me. I know that He answers prayers, not necessarily when or how we want it, but in the way that will benefit us most.

When I was fourteen, I was a menace. My sister had died a little under a year before and I was both angry and full of pain. I questioned everything I had been taught, and planted seeds of doubt in others. I challenged the Young Women leaders in my ward, starting fights and bringing them to tears on many occasions. This continued for months, and many prayers were said on my behalf.

I had turned my back on the church. I felt so alone and hated everyone. I was angry and bitter and felt that prayers were worthless. For a year, I wanted nothing to do with the church or with the Lord. But finally, when I felt at my lowest, I dropped to my knees and began to open my heart. I asked the Lord to send me something or someone to ease my pain. I was hurting and I needed help. Before I had even gotten off my knees, the phone rang. My mother (who was the Young Women's president at that time) answered it, and seemed very surprised when the Laurel advisor asked for me. She seemed nervous as she handed me the phone.

The Laurel advisor seemed nervous as she asked if I would like to go out for ice cream and to talk. I don't know who was most surprised when I said yes...my mother, the advisor, or myself. She picked me up shortly and we went for a drive. Typical me fashion, I glared out the window and didn't say much. She then started to tell me about how much all the advisors loved me. I rolled my eyes. She wasn't even MY advisor. Why did she care?

And then, this sister began to bear her testimony of how much the Lord loved me. I began to listen. She told me of my divinity as a Child of God and for His love for me. She asked me if I knew...really KNEW that I was loved. I couldn't answer her. She challenged me to find out for myself. I was intrigued. I'd been told my entire life that I was a Child of God, but I had never really thought about what that meant. Her testimony touched my heart and I wanted that firm conviction that I was indeed loved. We drove around talking and she promised that I was always welcome to speak to her when I needed someone. We never made it to get ice cream, but I started looking. What I found was simple, but sweeter than anything else in the world: I prayed that I would find out for myself that I was loved. She had challenged me to look at my life to find the proofs that the Lord had a loving hand in my life. I began to find proofs in every aspect of my life, from my parents to my school, to the blessings that He poured out at every turn. I can say without a shred of doubt that I am loved.

I know that the ordinances that are performed in the temple are everlasting. The Lord has sent a prophet to guide us and the things that he tells us are direct commandments from the Lord. I know that The Lord knows us personally and that Christ has atoned for our sins. He knows our pains. He knows our heart's desires and He knows our secret thoughts.

The power of the Priesthood is real.

When I was twelve, I was in a terrible car accident. I was thrown out the window and injured very badly. I should have died. Miraculously, there was an EMT driving behind us, and a Bishop driving behind her. The EMT provided medical care, and the Bishop laid his hands upon my head and through the Priesthood power that he righteously used, I was spared. There have been times in my life where I was sick and because of blessings, I was able to heal quickly.

I know that the Lord forgives. He wants us to be His. He wants to give us blessings, and doesn't want us to suffer. The suffering we experience from sin is not because He doesn't love us. We bring it upon ourselves. He has the balm and is willing to give it to us if we just turn to Him. We are NEVER alone if we allow the Lord to guide us. He will ALWAYS give us another chance to return to him.

For two years, I had been first apathetic, then stubbornly inactive. I didn't want to go to church, and my testimony began to falter. I didn't feel that firm conviction that I had before. I was alone again, because I had turned again to darkness. The Lord opened a door, literally, and there was the answer to prayers I didn't even know had been spoken on my behalf. I found my footing again. I was given another chance, and this time, I will take it and make the most of it.

If you have questions, any questions, ask. If you doubt or are unsure, ask. The Lord is so happy when we turn to Him with our questions, and He will answer them. Sometimes the answers are hard. Sometimes they seem impossible. But I beg you, please ask. If you don't have a rock-solid conviction that you are indeed His child, that you are loved and wanted and needed, I beg you. Please find out. I can promise you that if you ask, He will answer you in ways that you can't even imagine. You will find proof of His love in every single moment of your day. If the Lord loves someone as imperfect and stubborn as me, I guarantee He loves you as well. It is NEVER too late, and there is ALWAYS a chance to turn to Him.

No wonder "I Stand All Amazed" was Dayna's favorite hymn! It is my hope that if you are struggling that you will remember to call "Home" once in a while. Pray for strength and raise your hands to welcome the Life Preserver.