Back when Mr. Mo and I were first married, I had a dream. In this dream I was holding a baby girl. There was a man and woman there. They came to me and told me that it was time to give the baby back. I told them that I wanted to keep her and I didn't want to give her back. They looked at each other and then one of them said, "If you're faithful, we will send her to you."
Naturally, when my first daughter was born, I thought she was the fulfillment of that dream. But, when Dayna was a teenager and got a Patriarchal Blessing, I got an overwhelming witness that it was actually HER that was the fulfillment of that dream. When she would get particularly grumpy, she would remind me of this: "You're the one who asked for me. What were you thinking?"
In the past few days I've gotten the feeling that Dayna was never meant for a long life. That's why she was so brilliant: because she needed to absorb as much knowledge as she could. Maybe that's why she always looked older too. And several times, I've gotten the impression that she was here longer than she should have been because of my prayers and the prayers of others when her seizures started. After every seizure she would tell me that she saw a bright and brillant light--brighter than the sun. Then I would pray. The Lord knew that I would never want to give her back, so he took her in the middle of the night while I was sleeping.
Though it's hard, and by far the hardest thing some of us have ever had to do, we all need to find the strength somehow to give our baby Dayna back to her Father in Heaven. He knew we would never want to let her go. I know that as many of us who knew and loved her deeply, that there are countless others on the other side who are joyous she is home. And if we're faithful he'll send her to us again.
Charlene, You are so wise. The Lord is giving you tender mercies but what I think is incredible is that you recognize them as such. Dayna was and is an amazing girl. I am so grateful for our knowledge of the Lord's plan, that this life is but a small part of that plan. I yearn for the day we will be with our love ones again, including God the Father and Jesus Christ. In the last few years it has struck me that my time here on the earth is very short in relationship to how many years I have already been here. There is much to do and so little time to do it. I have shifted my focus to eternal things. I have not lost a child in death and I will never presume to think I know how that feels, but in a sense I have lost my children to the world or to their own lives. I will never have them live close where I can be with them watching my grandchildren growand my children be adults. It is hard and sometimes seems unfair. I put so much time and effort into their up bringing. It is hard to let go and let them be adults. They don't need me any more. My only consolation is that the Lord is wise and knows it will all work out. That is why I keep myself so busy,so I don't think about my children being gone. My comfort is the scriptures, the temple and service. I really miss the days of having children at my feet to cook for, to nourish, to have fun with and to love. Serving other children and people is very satisfying. Thanks Charlene for sharing and I hope you don't mind if I share too. Love Darryle
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