My Tribulation...or maybe not

Today in Relief Society we had a lesson on Loving Our Neighbor. The teacher, Becca Hererra, told a story about when she was driving in another city with her sister. When she came to the intersection, she stopped a little bit late, but there was no traffic incident that resulted and was several yards of any kind of danger. The driver in the car going the other direction was traveling with his wife and saw what had happened. When he passed by the two women, he rolled down his window and proceeded to lecture Becca on proper driving behavior, yelling and screaming of what kind of hazards could have occured. Becca was in tears. Her sister was angry.

When the man went on his way, Becca and her sister vented about how horrible the man had been to them. The longer they talked, the more they began to realize that they needed to forgive this man. After all, they had no idea what was going on in the man's life that would cause him to take out his anger on them. They realized that the man was probably not really angry with THEM, but he likely was angry at a situation that had nothing to do with anything that happened that day. Perhaps his wife had a terminal illness. Perhaps that intersection was where he lost a loved one. Or maybe it was something else that they would never learn. Whatever it was, being angry with what had happened was not helping either situation, so they decided to forgive him and understand that they were innocent bystanders in the incident.

The story reminded me of all the trials that have happened in my life: Having a 28 week old micropreemie, weighing in at 1 lb 5 ounces at birth, and enduring the life-threatening 5 months that he spent in the NICU not knowing if he was ever going to come home with us was taxing on our home, family, finances, physical health, and church. I began to wonder if I had done something to get on God's bad side, and stopped a little too late. Some of us cried. Some of us were angry. Some of us were both.

Yet, we created associations with doctors and nurses during those months that would sustain us years down the road. Our story helped others gain strength in adversity, and it solidified at least one testimony of the Savior. Several months into the NICU stay, I began to realize that the prematurity was not my hardship. Perhaps someone in the hospital needed our baby's influence. Perhaps someone at church needed to witness a miracle. Perhaps our oldest daughter needed her testimony affirmed. Perhaps I just needed to understand that I was an innocent bystander in the incident.

When my 19 year-old daughter passed away suddenly in the middle of the night due to a medical condition, was taxing on our family, finances, physical health and church. It was perhaps the WORST thing that I have ever had to endure. Nothing can compare to it. I began to wonder if I had done something to get on God's bad side and stopped a little too late. Some of us cried...hard. Some of us were angry. Some of us were both, and sometimes at the same time.

Yet, we created associations with people helping with funeral arrangements, my daughter's friends, and others that would sustain us years down the road. Our story has helped others. I began to realize that my daughter's death was not my hardship. Perhaps one of her friends needed our influence. Perhaps someone at church needed to witness a miracle. Perhaps it was just my daughter's Time. Maybe I just needed to understand that I was an innocent bystander in the incident.

You'd think I would have had this figured out when I recently had some dental work done and after 5 visits to the dentist, still had a toothache, and ended up needing a root canal done. The situation was taxing on our family, finances, and physical health. I began to wonder if I had done something to get on God's bad side and stopped a little too late. I cried. I was angry. I was hurting. Sometimes all at the same time.

Yet, I created some associations with people at the dentist office that might sustain me years down the road. They have heard the story of my premature son, who is now a healthy, 9 year-old. They have heard the story of my 19 year-old daughter who now resides in Heaven. I began to realize my prayers have not been futile. Perhaps someone needed to hear these stories and only could if I was in a dentist chair. Perhaps someone was silently dealing with a hardship and needed to know where to find strength. I began to realize that although it is MY tooth, and MY mouth, that maybe I was an innocent bystander in it all, and God has a better view of the big picture.