Rash Remedy

I wrote this earlier this year as a satire for a talk on parenting, but it ocurred to me that it could also be used as a tool for use in grief, and avoiding doing anything "rash." It follows:

Charlene's Rash Remedy:

--Keep it clean with pure water

We must strengthen our testimonies that the Lord is the "fountain of living waters (Jer 2:13) and through His Atonement, we have the source of eternal life. When we find ourselves seeking comfort the scriptures, the doctrines found there replenish our souls and renews our strength. Kneeling in prayer, often, as Enos did, we can learn to recognize the tender mercies that are present in our own lives. Do not fall for Satan's counterfeit! The prophets, apostles, church leaders, and family and friends who bear testimony would never lie to us. Can Satan say the same? C.S. Lewis writes:

"You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it?... (C.S. Lewis, "A Grief Observed")

--Keep it cool

My mother-in-law taught all of her children a scripture: "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another." (3 Nephi 11:29). Later, this scripture began to be used in our own home, so much that our children can either recite it from memory, or they are learning to recite it from memory.

Sometimes those in our families may become angry at a circumstance, situation or as a response to an emotion and take it out on those closest to them. This is called Displaced Agression. We see it happening when communities are angry with their government, but instead of marching on the steps of the capitol, they loot, steal and vandalize their own communities. Although anger is characterized as a natural response, it doesn't have to be.

--Watch for irritation

Crying is okay. It is nature's way of healing a wound. It provides the saline solution to wash out impurities and sanitize the area. The day after Dayna passed away, I wailed. Family members tried to soothe, but I requested that they let me cry. I went back to my bedroom and sobbed, out loud, and with anguish. After about 10-15 minutes I started to feel better.

It's also been said that laughing can release the same stress-relieving properties as crying, plus, it doesn't make your face splotchy or stuff up or nose! When one is in a tense situation, use humor instead. It's important to rember the humorous situations our loved ones have left in our memories. Here's one that makes me smile:

Dayna was working for a bank and in a traning session the group were working in teams and role playing teller situations with customers. They were told to try to make casual conversation and instructed that no matter how crazy a customer's request might sound, they are not to laugh and they are not to judge and make comments about a customer's behavior or bank decisions. Dayna was teamed up with a young man named Jason. They role played--Dayna as the customer in the drive-thru window, and Jason as the window teller. So Dayna pretended to drive up...and starts barking like a dog. Not missing a beat, Jason commented, "I see you have brought your dog with you today. I have a dog myself. What kind of dog is that with you?"

Dayna answered, "It's a chihuahua. It's my seeing-eye dog."

Jason tried to hold back the laughter, but couldn't. When he couldn't contain himself longer than a few seconds, he blurted out, "WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A CAR THROUGH THE DRIVE THRU IF YOU NEED A SEEING EYE DOG? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?" Then he threw up his hands, still laughing, "That's it! I cannot work with her as a partner!"

--Allow for some fresh air

Sometimes a change of scenery can do wonders for perspective. A brisk walk can soothe the senses, and gives a perfect opportunity for meditation. Our bodies also require adequate nutrition to keep ourselves fit. Good and wholesome foods, following the Word of Wisdom, and employing stress-relieving activities is just as important for our physical health as well as our spiritual health.

--Be open to changes

When a baby cries they cannot tell you what is wrong. It’s the same way sometimes with our family members, except the crying isn’t always visible. Behaviors may become altered. Routines may become skewed. When family members cease to be consistent when they were previously so, it’s often a symptom of something deeper, and should be investigated.

When my youngest was in the hospital, it consumed most of our time to travel to and from the hospital. Often, the children left at home were left in the care of friends, relatives and siblings. One of the children who was in Kindergarten at the time, began to have behavior problems at school. Rather than the standard discipline that would apply to the situation, instead I gathered the child into my arms and told him that I used to hold him like that all the time, and I missed it. He asked if I held his baby brother like that. I told him that I did, because he was tiny, and didn't understand that his mother loves him unless I hold him. Then I told him how much I loved him too. There were no further behavior problems that year.

--Soothe any redness

When family members are going through rough, difficult and trying times, it helps to be soothed by the Balm of Gilead and be in service to one another and lifting one another. Especially in these tough economic times, optimism and strength is important.

Gordon B. Hinckley “Things will work out. Keep trying. Be believing. Be happy. Don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.”

---Seek professional attention

If all efforts have failed, it might be wise to seek the counsel of those who have stewardship. Careful consultation with priesthood leaders can often steer us and those we love back to the path of safety. They can administer the proper medicine and guide us in proper application.

If the Diaper Rash Remedy doesn’t work, take comfort in the following statement:

“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.”

The Plan of Salvation isn't just true. I am counting on it.